LAUSR

I revisit whether black-hole remnants, from sub-Planckian compact objects to Planck relics and up to (super)massive black holes, can preserve Standard-Model (SM) electric charge. Two exterior-field mechanisms — Coulomb-focused capture from ambient media and QED Schwinger pair production — robustly neutralize such objects across cosmic history. I first derive the general capture rate including both Coulomb and gravitational focusing, and sum the stepwise discharge time in closed form via the trigamma function, exhibiting transparent Coulomb- and gravity-dominated limits. I then integrate the Schwinger rate over the near-horizon region to obtain an explicit Q̇(Q) law: discharge proceeds until the horizon field falls below E crit, leaving a residual charge Q stop (e) ∝ rh 2 that is ≪ e for Planck radii. Mapping the mass dependence from sub-Planckian to astrophysical scales, I also analyze dark-sector charges with heavy carriers (including kinetic mixing and massive mediators). In a conservative “no-Schwinger” limit where vacuum pair creation is absent, cumulative ambient exposures alone force discharge of any integer SM charge. Three possible loopholes remain. (i) A fine-tuned SM corner in which the relic sits arbitrarily close to Reissner-Nordström extremality so greybody factors suppress charged absorption, while Schwinger pair creation is absent due to Planck-scale physics. (ii) Charge relocated to a hidden U(1) D with no light opposite carriers, e.g. if the lightest state is very heavy and/or kinetic mixing with U(1)EM is vanishingly small. (iii) Discrete or topological charges rather than ordinary SM electric charge. Outside these cases, the conclusion is robust: within SM electromagnetism, charged black-hole relics neutralize efficiently and cannot retain charge over cosmological times.