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Purpose The purpose of this paper is to provide a commentary on the article by Flynn et al. Design/methodology/approach In this commentary, the authors will develop some further thoughts about the importance of empathy, its relational nature and place in practice. The authors use some examples from systemic practice to illustrate. Findings Social psychological research underlines the importance of empathy in practice. Systemic practice and other collaborative approaches that ask about the experiences and abilities of people with a learning disability and their networks can support new possibilities as network members are listened to, included and respected. Originality/value The relational nature of empathy and its connection with practice is explored in this paper.